


Sow's Ear

by aireyv



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Liquid gets pinned, Makeup, formal wear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 09:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21241553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireyv/pseuds/aireyv
Summary: Liquid scowled. By god, she hated formal events with a passion. However, after being promoted to squad leader of FOXHOUND, there was no avoiding them. Black-tie wine-and-caviar parties were the natural habitat of the Army brass, it seemed.





	Sow's Ear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hingabee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hingabee/gifts).

> Birthday fic for my girlfriend... it's so late rip
> 
> love you Leo 😊😘

“I hate these things.”

“I know,” Mantis said. She always sounded so soothing when she was trying to condescend to Liquid. “But Ocelot will be there to make sure things go smoothly as long as you can behave yourself. She’s very good at schmoozing, you know, boss.”

“I _know_, Mantis. And define ‘behave yourself’! You’re probably already mad that I’m going with the old bitch instead of you.”

“I’m not mad.”

Liquid huffed. Okay, so she wasn’t mad _now_ \- but probably would be mad at her _later_. Mantis was the perfect example of the ‘jealous girlfriend’ archetype.

Mantis pinched her cheek. “I am not,” she said. “And you’re wasting time.”

“Am not.”

“You’ve got to get ready.”

“I am fine just the way I am,” Liquid said stubbornly, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m ready to go whenever Ocelot is.”

“You will show up too early and look stupid,” Mantis argued, “and you are _not_ fine just the way you are, you have to get dressed up — this is a formal event!”

Liquid scowled. By god, she hated formal events with a passion. However, after being promoted to squad leader of FOXHOUND, there was no avoiding them. Black-tie wine-and-caviar parties were the natural habitat of the Army brass, it seemed. And the leader of _any_ Army subsidiary simply could _not_ afford to decline an invitation when one rolled around. As much as she was dreading it, Mantis was right and Liquid did have to get dressed up. Even if Ocelot was going to be the one doing all the active schmoozing, Liquid was still obligated to show up, shake hands, and look pretty as Ocelot worked her magic.

“Get out of those trashy clothes,” Mantis said, putting a hand to her cheek. “We’ll just reuse your dress from last year, I doubt anyone will notice.”

“Some of the generals’ wives might,” Liquid muttered, unbuttoning her shirt. Even though she’d known all along that Mantis would intervene, she’d still made an attempt to dress nice on her own — in her own, very butch, style.

“They won’t mention it if you behave yourself. Your bra, too, boss,” Mantis said from the closet, “you are _not _wearing a sports bra under this dress.”

Liquid crossed her arms across her chest self-consciously. “Even if the color matches?”

“It does not.”

“How would you know? You only wear black!”

“Black goes with everything,” Mantis said haughtily as she returned, Liquid’s glitzy dress from last year in her arms.

“_And_ your mask lens are tinted yellow, you can’t even see what color anything actually is—“

“Take that _off_, boss. Put on the backless bra.”

“I hate the backless bra,” Liquid said petulantly, but obeyed Mantis. She knew she wasn’t going to win this one. Mantis politely looked away as Liquid finished undressing and changed bras, grumbling. “Gimme the bloody dress.”

“Don’t complain.”

“I’m not complaining, I’m just... hmph.”

Mantis reached under her skirt to tug the inner lining into place; Liquid didn’t know what else to do besides be embarrassed. Mantis raised a perfect eyebrow at her from behind her mask, and pinched her thigh sharply with her nails.

“Hey!”

“At least you shaved,” Mantis said.

Liquid pouted. “I have to shave for the sneaking suit, you know that. Not to look like a Barbie doll!”

“Showing up to a black-tie party in a sneaking suit won’t do anything to help our budget, boss.”

“Next you’ll suggest I find a nice private corner with someone and-“

“Oh _no_,” Mantis cut her off disdainfully, “that is _Ocelot’s_ job. You’re there to look at, not touch.”

“So long as they don’t look so hard at me,” Liquid mumbled.

“Of course not. Hmm.” Mantis adjusted her dress again, this time plucking at her hips. “You’ve gained weight.”

“The- the dress still fits, I—“

“Gaining a little bit of weight isn’t a bad thing, boss.”

“But-“

Mantis poked her belly. Liquid squeaked indignantly. “If anything it makes the dress fit better, bodycon is a good look on you, you know. Now let’s get your hair looking presentable.”

“Nothing elaborate,” Liquid protested as Mantis pushed her onto a stool. “I mean, shouldn’t it be fine like this? I already brushed it!”

“You look like you just rolled out of bed.”

“I brushed my hair already, I said! Ouch!”

She _had_ brushed her hair already, yes, but she had to admit she hadn’t done a particularly careful job of it; Mantis tugged hard with the comb against the tangles, making Liquid feel like she was being scalped.

“If you want to keep your hair long, you have to take care of it,” Mantis chided. Liquid just grumbled in response.

At least once the tangles were dealt with, Mantis started combing Liquid’s hair with her fingers instead, pulling it back behind her shoulders. Liquid… really liked having her hair played with. She couldn’t help it. It was just so… _nice_, so intimate and comfortable. With Mantis’ gentle stroking - the brushing of her fingers against Liquid’s ears and neck as she braided her hair — Liquid was quickly lulled into a sort of pleasurable trance. She was so relaxed that if she hadn’t been perching on a stool she probably could have fallen asleep right there.

“There,” Mantis said at length, putting her hands on Liquid’s shoulders and directing her to look at the mirror. “Much better.”

“Mm.”

“You look nice.”

“Mmm.”

“Now for makeup, then you will be ready to go.”

“!” Liquid jumped up. “What’s wrong with the natural look?!”

Mantis rolled her eyes. “Not this again.”

“I hate makeup! You know that!”

“Endure it.”

“You always poke me in the eye!”

“Because you never sit still,” Mantis snapped. “Sit back down.”

“No. I’m going to go get Ocelot and we’re going to leave now.”

“Boss!”

Liquid made an attempt to run for the door, grabbing her shoes as she went. Unfortunately, fleeing and putting on shoes at the same time was difficult enough on its own - she would have been alright if they’d been _normal_ shoes, but instead she had to wear those damnable high-heeled dress shoes… she got one shoe on and had the other half one when she misstepped, folded at the ankle, and wiped out in front of the door. By the time she regained her bearings, Mantis was sitting on her stomach.

“W-Wait,” Liquid started.

“You will ruin your hair at this rate,” Mantis said calmly.

“Certainly! I’m on the floor, aren’t I! Let me up.”

“No. You just sit still and your hair will be fine. In the meantime, I’m not letting you go anywhere until you’ve got makeup on.”

“This is unnecessary,” Liquid whined as Mantis pushed a few stray curls of hair away from her face. “If men don’t have to dress up like this for these kinds of functions, then neither should I!”

“Men have their own arbitrary restrictive dress codes for these kinds of functions,” Mantis replied, unfolding a facial wipe. “Don’t you remember Wolf whining about it?”

Well, yes, that sort of was the reason why Liquid had never taken him as her escort again after the first time, when she’d thought an opposite-sex date was required. She knew better now. It had been a good thing Colonel Campbell had been there with them that year, though.

But even if men’s formal wear was just as stupid and impractical as women’s formal wear, it was still unfair that women were expected to wear makeup! Liquid simply hated the feeling of all that gunk on her face. Even having it applied was uncomfortable, and she got squirmy.

“Sit _still_,” Mantis reminded her, scooting up to pin her wrists under her knees. Oh, it would have been _so_ easy for Liquid to throw her off — if she were willing to rip her dress.

“Don’t be so rough,” she mumbled pathetically as Mantis massaged lotion, then primer, onto her face.

“The better you behave the easier this will be and the sooner this will be over. Now be a good girl.”

“Mmph.”

Liquid squeezed her eyes shut as Mantis applied foundation. Mantis made a clicking sound with her tongue. “Boss.”

“It feels disgusting! You’re going to get it in my eyes!”

“I am not. Stop contorting your face, you don’t want wrinkles.”

Liquid sighed and stared at the ceiling instead while Mantis blended out the foundation and added some concealer under her eyes. _Lie back and think of England_, she thought sardonically, and had to suppress a giggle. She sneezed when Mantis put on some setting powder.

“Bless you,” Mantis said condescendingly, giving her shoulder a little pat. Liquid squirmed. “Ah-ah, what did I tell you?”

“Are you done yet?”

“Not even close.”

Mantis uncapped the highlighter. Liquid tried to wiggle out again; Mantis warningly squeezed her thighs against her ribcage. Liquid was forced to stay put as Mantis brushed the makeup over her cheekbone. Below that, some other, darker powder.

She gently took Liquid’s chin and tilted her head to brush underside of her jaw as well. Liquid rubbed her legs together, distantly noting that her shoes were still only half on her feet.

“Good girl,” Mantis said again as she dusted blush over Liquid’s cheeks. “You’re doing so well.”

“Don’t talk down to me…”

Mantis’ eyes narrowed; she was undoubtedly smirking behind her mask. “But you like it.”

“Nn…!”

“Time to do something about your eyebrows, you animal.”

“What— hey!”

Liquid yowled and kicked her legs indignantly as Mantis started plucking at them with a tweezer. After half a minute, Mantis stopped and sat back a bit, inadvertently freeing Liquid’s hands and allowing her to clap them to her forehead, protecting her precious little caterpillars from the assault.

“You’ve been shot sixteen times in the past two years yet you expect me to believe that _plucking your eyebrows_ is a pain too great to endure?”

“It _hurts_,” Liquid whined, “you’re pulling hair right out of my skin, how is it _not_ supposed to hurt?!”

“You look so unkempt. Put your hands down.”

Reluctantly Liquid obeyed. Mantis went no easier on her. So Liquid didn’t cut her any slack either and cried out with every pluck as though she were being stabbed.

“Stop that! Fine. We’re done.”

“Can I get up?”

“No — done with shaping your eyebrows,” Mantis said, running over them with a cosmetic pencil instead. “Now we move on to your actual eyes.”

“Nooooo!!”

“Boss, the more of a fight you put up, the longer this will take. Close your eyes and _sit still_.”

Liquid mumbled indignantly as Mantis painted her lids. Eyeball massages, she thought, were not particularly pleasant, but at least it gave her a little more time to steel herself for the inevitable repeated poking of her eye with a mascara wand.

“You are so dramatic.”

“Excuse me for not wanting to go _blind_.”

“You’re not going to go blind from me blending eyeshadow.”

“You’ll rupture my eyeball.”

Mantis let out an irritated sigh.

“See!” Liquid said, half in a panic, “now you’re stabbing me!”

“It is just eyeliner, you idiot! I am not even doing anything elaborate, you are just milking this for pity.”

“From _you?_”

“I didn’t say you were going to be successful.”

Finally Liquid was allowed to open her eyes, but only for the biggest ordeal of them all: the mascara.

“It is _not_ that bad,” Mantis said, rolling her eyes as she uncapped the wand.

“Says you! You’re not the one—“

“I do this to myself every morning, you know. Look up,” she instructed.

Grumbling, Liquid followed her orders. It was very difficult to keep her eyelids from twitching and trembling as Mantis brushed on the mascara. How could any sane (or insane, for that matter) person willingly put something so close to their eyes? Liquid didn’t even understand contact lenses - but at least those were required to _see_. This was completely optional. Technically.

“You’ll look like a fool if you show up to the party without makeup on.”

“I’ll just say it’s a natural look.”

Mantis scoffed. “Men don’t know what a natural look is - subtle makeup is how they think a woman looks when her face is _unmade_.”

“Surely someone of _my_ reputation would be better received unmade…”

“You think I’m not putting you in subtle makeup?” Mantis said, genuinely astounded. “You could have told me you were expecting something extravagant. Then I could really have fun with you.”

“Absolutely not! Ow, my eye!!”

“Stop _squirming!_”

After much ordeal, Liquid’s eyelashes were successfully prettied. Her eyes were frankly watering but if she made her mascara and eyeliner run, she knew Mantis would kill her.

“Relax, boss. I know better than to not use waterproof makeup on you,” Mantis said.

“So what, I’m just going to have mascara in my eyes forever?”

Mantis didn’t even dignify that with a response.

She uncapped the lipstick; Liquid quieted up. They were almost done. And having lipstick applied was almost… _nice_, mostly the way Mantis would thumb away excess from the corners of her mouth, brushing against her lip. Liquid always felt so sensitive when she did that.

“Cute,” Mantis cooed at her.

“Are we finished?” Liquid said pathetically.

“Just the setting spray left, close your eyes.”

As soon as Liquid opened her eyes again, she made an indignant grab for Mantis’ chest. Mantis swatted her wrist.

“Stop that!”

“I deserve a reward for putting up with this, don’t you think!?”

“Not _now_,” Mantis scolded, crossing her arms across her chest, “you have to leave in less than an hour!”

“But I don’t _want_ to.”

“Get up, we need to fix your dress. Put your shoes on.”

Liquid grumbled, but again complied. One day she’d find a way to not have to go to these stupid things anymore — in the meantime, she would just have to look forward to RTB with sore feet and (if she was lucky) champagne buzz.

Mantis clicked her tongue, fussing with her hair. “Good girl,” she said. “I will still be awake when you come back.”

“Hmph.”

She gave her a pat on the butt. “You will get your reward, don’t worry.”

“I’d better.”

“Drop the attitude before you meet with the brass… and let Ocelot do all the talking.”

“I know, I _know_.”

Mantis pinched her cheek again. “You look lovely. Behave yourself.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had to use WikiHow to know what order you apply makeup in because I don't know SHIT about makeup


End file.
